Two important events

Today marks two important events in the world calendar. In Muslim countries, it is the start of Ramadan, the thirty days of fasting. And in Britain it is National Moth Night, when every mothtrapper in the country has their traps set. I am sure there is a mystical connection between these two events, but I am damned if I know what it is. Wait a moment, though, maybe there IS a connection......

How does a Muslim know when to start and stop fasting? How does a mothtrapper know when to switch on and switch off the Mercury Vapour lamps? If you are sitting comfortably, I will tell you.

To determine the exact moment of sunset and sunrise, the imam – or the mothtrapper – holds up two threads, one black and one white. When it is no longer possible to distinguish the black from the white, when, that is, the threads look grey, it is the moment of sunset and time to break the fast and to switch on the moth trap lamps. In the morning, when the grey threads separate into black and white, it is time to start fasting and to switch off the moth trap lamps.

All of the above is true, except for the fact that Muslims no longer depend on holding up two threads, and mothtrappers, as far as I know, never did.

I just hope I have said nothing offensive. I would hate for the Imam or the National Mothtrapping Council to put a fatwa on me.