My advice is: don't do it. It's full of aches and pains and disappointments. You are no longer an asset, you are a liability. You are no longer a pleasure, you are a problem.
This blog was intended to be a defiance of the onset of oldscrotery, but the taste of it has turned to ashes in my mouth.
If you want to go on laughing, you'd be better off clicking on the comedy category on YouTube. I am out of laughs right now.
5 comments:
Because of a gender difference which has left me unequipped, I cannot claim to know anything about "oldscrotery." In fact, I've tried to think of an equivalent for my own anatomy, but the results are too obscene to be shared. However, I quite agree that getting old is sure hell and does not necessarily lead to wisdom. People around here are accustomed to saying, "Well, getting old beats the alternative." But I think they are not allowing themselves enough options.
When my grandmother died, my grandfather married her cousin, thinking that genetics would cause her to be similar. This turned out not to be the case and he complained to my aunt, who had been an army nurse in England. She said, "You made your bed. Now you can lie in it."
He replied, "There's nothing that says I can't shake out the sheets now and then." Not that he did that, but at least he thought of that option.
I'm sure Mrs. Trellis would appreciate these bits of folk wisdom.
Oh, and a bumblebee box seems a good idea. I'm forever plunging my hands into some sort of loose garden trash and getting stung as a result. Of course, there are always gloves, but I prefer to meet life (such as it is and even towards the end) bare-handed.
Prairie Mary
Your comments are a tonic, Mary. If there is any justice, you will get a really good seat in Heaven.
My friend David H gave me the expression "old scrote", and it was only later that I realised its etymology. I like to think of the term as gender-neutral.
Yes, a good reason for getting up in the morning is the prospect of making artificial nests for bumblebees.
God bless.
Kicking my heels on a cloud while wearing a nightgown does not appeal to me. Though I know you meant the idea as a reward. I also feel that justice is probably overrated and mercy might do more good.
My plan and aspiration is to disperse on death into molecules and atoms which I have been fortunate enough to borrow from the universe for a while. They will repattern themselves into other entities, some of which might be bumblebees.
Prairie Mary
I've had a word with God, and He says it's fine to become molecules, which is what He had in mind for us all in the first place.
I am sure you will make a splendid bumblebee, and I hope to have a nestbox ready for you by then.
It appears that both you and God are rather paternalistic, though in a protective sort of way. I suppose it's because the two of you are English and Anglican. You also seem to both have an eye for pretty young girls. At least we presume that Mary was pretty. She may have been rolypoly and had one of those little Mediterranean mustaches. At least she seems to have been fond of older fellows like Joseph and God.
Prairie Mary
Post a Comment