Monday, April 02, 2007

Mrs Trellis and the demon drink

My instinct is to censor Mrs Trellis's outpourings, but I am just too soft-hearted. Once again, she hits the brass tack on the head.
Dear Gordon Brown, she writes, I was more than a little taken aback by your references to alcohol, you being a dour Scot and all. Both myself and the late Mr Trellis were confirmed Rechabites, allowing alcohol to pass our lips only for medicinal reasons, mostly in the form of a nightly port-and-brandy to induce healthful sleep.
I have relaxed a little since achieving widowhood, but I still try to keep my consumption down to two bottles of gin per week, except on festive occasions, when I think one is justified, in the interests of sodality - or is it sodomy? I'm never quite sure - to pour the odd extra tot.
Do give my warmest regards to your wife, Cherie. Does she get enough to eat? She looks a bit scrawny to me. Mr Trellis always liked his women meaty, which I am.

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