Mrs T in fighting mood:
Dear Mr Berlusconi
I will be honest with you: I don't much like Italians. All that operatic singing and everything ending in -o: it's not a patch on a Welsh Male Voice Choir.
As to Italian food, well, as Mr Trellis, my late husband, wittily observed: "Who wants to eat a plateful of bootlaces?"
Well, I don't mean to offend, but that's my honest opinion.
Blodwen Trellis, etc
PS I hope they let you off. You have such a nice face, I can't believe you did all those things.