Mrs Trellis does it again:
Dear Arnold Schwarzenegger, I was shocked to read that you cannot remember people's names, you being a foreigner and all, and possessing the gift of tongues. I myself was bisexual as a girl, learning both English and Welsh at school. Sospan vach, etc, which means "little saucepan", not that I have ever had occasion to talk in Welsh - or English for that matter - about little saucepans.
They say that Welsh is spoken in three places: Wales, Argentina and Heaven. I suggest you try to do something about your memory, maybe learn a few Welsh phrases to drop into your election speeches. I am sure it will win you votes among your Patagonian constituents. Please give my regards to your wife Laura, what a wonderfully patient woman she must be.
B Trellis, Mrs Retired